A few days ago I had a firsthand encounter with the church's overwhelming bias towards extroversion via a small Twitter feud. A dear professor of mine, who is also an introvert, tweeted about his need to nourish his own soul after times of intense service. He was simply pointing out that sometimes caring for people can be absolutely draining. As an introvert he must (yes, must) pull away in order to be refilled emotionally, physically, mentally, and even (especially?) spiritually.
Another tweeter grossly misread our professors statement to say "love yourself as much as you love others" and "care intensely for others as long as it doesn't suck you dry." He adamantly insisted that Jesus' example teaches us to pour ourselves out completely, which means we don't have time to attend to our own needs. We must be constantly serving or we aren't living the cross.
While I absolutely applaud his radical approach to following Christ (which is truly a much needed word for most of us), I can't help but think he is drastically missing the point. He simply cannot wrap his mind around the fact that there are millions of people that need down time after interaction. There is even science to back it up - introverts have a specific brain chemistry that requires a recharging period because of dopamine sensitivity. Too much activity or stimulation leads to intense feelings of exhaustion.
So then what do we do with Jesus? If we assume that he is an extrovert and that following him leads to a life of extroversion, all of the introverts of the world are in trouble. We are sentenced to a life of complete exhaustion when the Savior promises rest for the weary. Fortunately I don't think that is the case.
Perhaps Jesus, the perfect man, is both 100% extrovert and 100% introvert. At times Jesus appears as a deft public speaker, the life of the party, thriving in front of the crowds. However, at other times he looks like a textbook introvert - going away to a solitary place in the morning, praying alone in the garden, associating primarily with a small group of friends, and even trying to get away from the masses to the middle of the lake. Jesus is the best of both temperaments because he is the best of mankind. By his actions, Jesus gives an OK to both introversion and extroversion.
And what of denying ourselves and being poured out for others? Certainly that is our calling as believers. But if Jesus himself needed time for rest and renewal, alone and with close friends, can we not assume that pouring ourselves out completely is compatible with introversion? Isn't there room in the kingdom for those of us who need to carve out alone time so that we can actually be whole people and serve to the best of our abilities? I think so.
Now introversion certainly does not grant us a license to neglect people for the sake of self. That would be un-Christlike. But I believe that nourishing our own soul is in fact a way of serving others. By feeding our souls through solitude, prayer, silence, and even sleep we are allowing God to make us into better ministers.
Unfortunately, the church will continue to embrace an overly extroverted model of faith. Introverts will continue to be misunderstood and even labeled as selfish or unbiblical for their need of solitude. Fortunately, Jesus says that need is fine.
As one friend put it, the God-man himself had to get away for the proverbial cigarette break. He needed rest and he grants it to his followers as well.
good words old friend. this makes me miss you.
ReplyDeletei don't think the church embraces extroversion. i think the church mostly thinks you should take care of your own needs before taking care of the needs of others. if you know of a church where everyone is exhausting themselves from loving each other so much, then please tell me as i'd love to share in that community. i don't know very many people at all who give of their time till it hurts. i also think this introversion/extroversion dichotomy sounds like an excuse. we all have obstacles to overcome in being Christlike. Duvall's point was that it is unwise to love people intensely without taking a break. I say thank God that He never takes a break from loving me, and I beg Him to put such a love in me that will never prioritize my own time (as if such a thing could even exist) above the time others need from me.
ReplyDeletealso - if you tested me, i'd be an introvert. I just don't let it be an excuse. just like people who have ADD don't let it keep them from focusing. you just make the adjustment and tough it out. i think rest is important. but let God give you rest, don't take it for yourself. and He'll do it. that I can testify first hand about. He provides the times of rest and renewal when you give all of yourself away relentlessly.
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